Buffalo seasons Awareness in life
Perimenopause and the Reorganization of Maternal Identity.
There is a particular kind of grief that emerges in the midst of things going “well.” A child is healthy, developmentally on track, and moving toward greater independence. The family system remains intact. And yet, for many mothers, something quietly but decisively changes. The relational shape of daily life shifts. The closeness that once structured time, attention, and identity loosens. While not a crisis, it may feel like one and can be deeply felt. For many women, this transition coincides with perimenopause—a stage marked not only by hormonal changes but by a broader reorganization of Self.
Bereavement Requires Time & Oscillation
The Dual Process of Mourning describes the importance of intentionality in the grieving process. We need to engage in “dosing our grief” because at times either end can become too debilitating. Respite from grief work can be found in learning how to call and schedule the eaves to be cleaned for the first time after a spouse dies. Respite from paying bills and going places alone can be found in snuggling in your den watching a favorite romance movie that you and your partner watched together—the tears can be cathartic, while also continuing your bond with them. These acts are integral to developing a healthy coping style to your loss.
Feeling the Absence in Ambiguous loss
In the 1970s, Dr. Pauline Boss identified a form of loss that results due to the physical or psychological absence of a loved one: Ambiguous loss. It is different from ordinary loss because “there is no verification of death or no certainty that the person will come back or return to the way they used to be.”